By Berlin Flores, Data and Catalog Department
THIS IS, FIRST of all, not one of those typical whining and dripping sentimental blog articles of which I am notorious for. This is, more than anything else you could ever think of, a story of how another person's burden suddenly becomes your own. This is a story of an individual's war against the Big C -- a disease most people dread of having, much less learning that someone they know already has. This is a story that almost never got to see print in this issue, for reasons wanted or otherwise.
This is Anna Alvarez's personal war.
***
It was one of those times when you would wish you have been closer to the person when there were chances to do so. I learned through a link to a blog site that Anna, a fellow employee from the Data and Catalog department, was diagnosed with Neuroendocrine Tumor Stage 3, a rare type of cancer. According to Kai Teves' researched article:
"A neuroendocrine tumor originates from the hormone-producing cells of the body's neuroendocrine system, which consists of cells that are a cross between traditional endocrine cells (or hormone-producing cells) and nerve cells. Neuroendocrine cells are found throughout the body in organs, such as the lungs and gastrointestinal tract, and perform specific functions, such as regulating the air and blood flow through the lungs and controlling the speed at which food is moved through the gastrointestinal tract."
When I first learned about Anna's predicament, I honestly felt numb for a while. Really, how many times in our lives will such a discovery come to our realization? At the very least, learning that someone you work with has a cancer should strike a chord of worry and concern.
I may never had the chance to be that close to her when she was still working here, but I admit the few times I heard her carefree laugh and equally carefree disposition made such an impact on me, for here was one person who could make me laugh or smile just by her way of laughing and of telling personal stories to close friends and office mates.
Through instant messages with her, I was able to get first-hand answers to questions that have been lingering in my mind. Here is a short transcript of our YM conversation, in Q and A style:
Me: When did you discover you have it?
Anna: We've been having tests for the past three months. They were supposed to be just check ups on UTI, in which the doctor discovered I have myoma. I was supposed to undergo myomectomy which is just [the] removal of myoma but before that I have to have a series of tests for clearance before the operation. It was then they discovered a tumor in my liver, so that also lead to [another] series of tests.
Me: What were you reaction/initial thought when you learned that you have it?
Anna: My first thought was not to ask god WHY ME? My initial thought was how I am going to tell my mom.
Me: What makes you go on with every day life knowing that you have cancer?
Anna: I don't like to think I'm sick because I don't feel sick at all, unless you count the side effects of chemo but that only lasts for about a week. I go on just like any other day, and I have to go on maybe not for myself but for the sake of my family.
Me: Do you feel afraid, bitter, or anxious knowing that it's such a dreaded disease/illness?
Anna: Do I feel afraid? Of course, because no matter how you deny or tell yourself that everything is going to be okay, we don't really know what's going to happen.
If her replies would be the measuring stick of how she's handling her situation, then Anna definitely deserves our collective admiration, in much the same way we admire the guts shown by made-believe heroes. Ever since Day One, Anna had shown courage beyond description. Sure, she may have felt fear and anxiety at times, but never in our occasional conversations ever since I learned about her case that she fretted. Not once.
In her blog entries, we see a woman determined to win her battle against cancer, whatever it takes. In these revealing streams of thought, we see a person standing strong amidst an otherwise debilitating truth, perhaps even looking at it not as a sorrowful event but as a happy and eye-opening experience not everyone will get the chance to have. In one blog entry, Anna shared:
"When I enter[ed] the barber shop with my mom and cousins, (yes cousins! All four of them and my niece armed with a camera) the lady at the counter thought my cousin is the one getting a haircut and when I said 'papa shave ako!' the lady looked at me in disbelief and I just said 'I'm having chemo.'
My mom was crying when the razor hit my head the first time and she cried when we got home and hugged me so tight until I can't breathe. My lola cried when she saw me. That's the first time I saw her cry since she found out that I'm sick. Her exact words are: 'Why did you shave it? You're only on your 1st chemo; it's like saying you don't have any hope for your recovery. And I told her 'It's only hair, it will grow back.'
I'm the one who is comforting them because I know this is hurting them and they haven't actually accepted it yet. They know im sick but they don't want me to look sick and I can't do anything about that. I can't grant them that one wish.
I will change... physically.
I may look different but I'm still the same old Anna you all know and love.
I will not let CANCER change who I am!!!"
Such a classic display of faith and strength most people can only dream of having.
In her 'birthday' blog entry, she has these words to tell:
"Thank you.
Two simple words.
We say it all the time but never in the depth on what I'm feeling right now.
Thank you for all the love and support and i mean that from the bottom of my heart.
I know my condition has not been easy to accept and even now some of you are still in denial that I'm sick. (Mitch??? Hehe.)
But through it all, you all managed to be there for me. The phrase 'in sickness and in health' came to mind and I thought, it doesn't just apply for people who are getting married but it also applies in friendship.
Your FRIENDSHIP.
Some of you managed to make me laugh
Some of you managed to make me cry with a 'hug'
Some of you managed to move me with your 'words'
but all of you managed to touch my HEART.
Thanks for wearing the 'i cancervive' baller, that means a lot to me."
***
It's for this reason that I went as far as bugging Anna to let me write about her case so that others may know, and, hopefully, feel the urge to participate in something that will mean so much to a fellow employee. Whether we admit it or not, other people's tragedies sometimes become our own, if only for the emotional impact they wield in our hearts or for the realization that they, too, can happen to us.
We may or may have not had the chance to stand for something or someone, much less shell out a few bucks to hand over to beggars asking for alms. But, it is my hope that in this case, we will have a totally different view.
Anna and her friends have been making the rounds, chiefly through blog articles, spreading the news about the 'i cancervive' baller ID campaign, whose proceeds will go directly to Anna's chemotherapy sessions and to a fellow cancer patient from De la Salle University. The baller ID costs 100php, roughly the cost of a fast-food meal, and comes in different colors. Anna has also set up a bank account for people who wish to give pledges to help her medications. To date, many in the Data and Catalog have brought their respective pieces of the said baller ID. And many more, I hope, will sport the same meaningful accessory upon reading this piece.
We all spend for something to adorn ourselves and make us presentable to the society. Many times, we spend several thousands of pesos for signature clothes, expensive watches, or a salon hair cut. But then, we may as well ask ourselves how many times have we actually worn something that may seem so trivial, yet means so much and spells an entire world of difference for others, especially when it represents a good cause? I asked myself that question upon learning about the 'i cancervive' baller ID campaign, and it sure made the decision of whether I'll buy one or not easier. I'm wearing one and am definitely proud, even honored, to be so.
May be it's your turn to ask yourself the same question? Let us all help Anna win her tumultuous, yet life-enriching war against cancer.
***
For inquiries on how to get the baller ID or to set a pledge:
For orders:
Name: Mitch Canimo
YM id: mitchcanimo
Email: rmitchel_26@yahoo.com
Cellphone number: 
+639212654877
For pledges:
ChinaBank (Shaw) Account
Account name: Kristine Anne Alvarez
Account number: 131-106391-3
