Fallen angel

*For a woman's body counts as one of the most exquisite sights a man could ever see.

Light Years

your eyes reveal a million truths,

truths that you've always tried to keep from me

but your lips betray you--
and your kisses tell who you really are,
or what you really feel.


you've managed to build a fortress between us,
but it only takes my embrace to shatter that divide.
and, no matter how you try to seek sanctuary in the confines of your room,
it always only take one knowing stare,
one passionate kiss,
one gentle touch at your delicate nakedness
to pull you out of your self-exile
and make you realize,
finally,


that home is not light years away


but right beside me,
right beside me.


--Berlin Flores
June 17, 2009
Pasig, City

Say what?

"Only Hayden touches my "uhm,"
who touches yours?"

--Katrina

(Sa tradisyon ng quotable quotes, ang aking munting ambag.)

Reflections in E-minor

it was everything I ever wanted:
a rainy afternoon,
a candid conversation with you over cups of coffee and tea,
a cozy veranda by the sea.


behind,

a mountain range that resembles a sleeping maiden with supple breasts and finely curved waist.


we made love like there was nothing else in the world we would ever wish to do or think about.

it was heaven on Earth.
it was magical.
enchanting.




you told me you have never felt so much loved by a man
i told you I have never loved a woman
the way I have loved, and continue to love,
you.


with lips trembling
we kissed.



we struggled against the cold of the night,
resorted to have our bodies joined to make us warm.


we talked about tomorrow, yesterday, and forever.
the thought of spending eternity together made us smile
if only for a while.


and when the warm morning sun finally had its rays wake us from our slumber,
we realized that, finally,
everything was over.


then, as we said our good byes and kissed our last,
we cried.

we cried, knowing fully that such a magical moment may never happen again.





and then, just like that,


a story that will never seem to end had finally reached the weary bend
and all that we could do was fake a smile and pretend that tomorrow,
when we both wake up,
we’ll once more share that moment we had


in that place under the sun
on that wonderful, fleeting moment in time.

***

"Kakayanin, Sir!"

Kung isa ka sa mga Pinoy na nabiyayaan ng telebisyon, malamang hindi na bago sa 'yo ang linyang 'yan. Kuha sa patalastas (palatastas, sa wikang Barok) ng Dolfenal ng Unilab, sumasalamin ang pariralang 'yan sa karakteristikong katatagan ng mga Pilipino sa gitna ng mga problema at trahedya sa kanilang buhay.

Never say die.

Iyan ang phrase sa Ingles na 'sing-kahulugan ng ating 'Kakayanin, Sir." Isang matapang na paghahayag ng paniniwala sa sariling kakayahan at sa kakayahan at kapangyarihan ni Ama. Bilang patunay, heto ang ilan sa mga Pinoy na nagpakita sa mundo ng 'Kakayanin, Sir' na espiritu:


1. Barangay Ginebra Kings. Ang tunay at nag-iisang basketball team sa PBA na nagpakita at patuloy na nagpapakita ng 'Never say die' attitude, bagay na naging daan upang mahalin sila ng Pinoy basketball community.


2. Manny Pacquiao. Kelangan pa bang i-memorize 'yan? Bukod sa pagiging basagulero, este, boksingero, pinasok na rin ni Manny ang pagiging artista, TV host, commercial model, pulitiko, sabungero, bilyarista, basketbolista, at s'yota ni Ara Mina. Oops. Putik. Sorry Manny. Pish tayu. :-D


3. Apl de Ap. Pakshet. Kung 'di mo s'ya kilala, patiwakal ka na. Isang tunay na Pinoy mula sa Barrio Sapang-bato sa Pampanga, pinatunayan ni Allan Pineda Lindo, aka Apl de Ap, na kayang maging hip-hop ng mga Pinoy without resorting to sport weird haircuts and uberly loose clothes na parang may elephantiasis (super-lawlaw na bayag, sa madaling-sabi). Miyembro ng international hip-hop/rap group na Black Eyed Peas, naging daan si Apl de Ap upang magkaroon muli ng pagpapahalaga ang international community sa galing ng mga Pinoy artist. Pasok Charice! Hehehe.


4. Arnel Pineda. Sino'ng may sabing si Pepe Smith lang ang tunay na rakistang nagmula sa lahing kayumanggi? Pakshet Nagsabi nun, men! Sa tradisyon ng mga alamat, dito pumasok si Arnel Pineda. Isang dating homeless na naranasang matulog sa isang makitid na bangkuan sa labas ng mga barung-barong sa squatter's area ng Tondo, isa na ngayong world music sensation si Arnel dahil siya na ngayon ang frontman ng sikat (at uugud-ugod) na bandang Scorpion, este, Journey. Hayop sa taas ng boses, isang tunay at purong rocker si Arnel na nagpatunay na Pinoys can rock. And rock hard. :-)

5. Aling Dionisia. FYI: It's not dyonisya anymore, it's diyo-nee-shia... Parang Dionne Warwick. Mula sa pagiging isang simpleng ina, isa nang ganap na fashionista at certified 'Dyosa' si Aling Dionisia. Ano'ng panama ni Regine Tolentino sa kanya kapag sumayaw na s'ya? O ni J. Lo kapag pumorma na s'ya? 'Yan si Aling Dionisia, hindi lang pampamilya, pang-Chavit pa, este, pang-showbiz pa!


6. Hayden Kho. Hehe. Mainit-init pa. Mula sa pagiging duktor, isa na ring certified videographer itong si Boss Hayden. Sa bisa ng kanyang nagootomatik zoom na 'Hayden Camera,' nagawang ipakita sa atin ni Hayden ang bagsik ng lalaking Pinoy. Mahihinuhang may potensyal na maging isang tanyag na pintor si Kho, sa bisa ng kanyang masining na paggamit ng kanyang improvised brush upang gumuhit ng langit sa kanyang kanbas. Lamang, hindi kinukunsinti ng sumulat ang kanyang sexual perversion. Moral lesson: before you even think of doing 'it,' don't forget to stop, look and listen. Big Brother may be watching you.

Astig ka Hayden. ikaw ang panalo sa aking listahan ng mga Pinoy na nagpakita ng 'Kakayanin, Sir' attitude! Lamang, ang pagkaka-panalo mo ay sa kontekstong nagwagi kang isagawa ang gawaing silbing opium mo upang masiyahan ang iyong sarili, sukdulang ibuyangyang mo sa publiko ang mga bagay na dapat sana'y sa inyo na lamang ng mga babaeng sabdyek ng iyong electronic sex journal.

Mabuhey!

I'm back, bitch!

After several days of hiding from THE Evil Spirit, I'm all but glad to be back in my sanctuary.

Three things I was made aware of:

1. The Evil Spirit may have graduated from the same educational system as Rizal's, but is also capable of doing things uncharacteristic of products from that Jesuit-run institution.
2. The Evil Spirit never won a Palanca award, perhaps never even tried to join the said literary tilt. All the Evil Spirit said was a lie. A f***** LIE.
3. The Evil Spirit will never, ever get to write like me, however hard the Evil Spirit tries. Hell yeah. It's redemption time, bitch!

This entry is for you. Savor every word of it. Because, I realized, you just made yourself dirty by crossing my path and bastardizing my sanctuary. You think of me as low? Well, what do you call what you did? You just stooped to the level of the person you had belittled.

Damn, how can you be so shhtoopeeed?

Giving up

After days of trying to reach the mountain top to enjoy the breath-taking view, I have decided to go back to where I was. It was never easy.

Having been given the hope of getting there, the thought of backing up breaks me apart. Why, after seeing the speck of light, am I asked to go back in the frightening darkness?


I guess things are like this some times. You win some, you lose a lot. But then again, I just want to thank that person for letting me experience that inexplicable bliss even for just one night.

I don't think the experience will just be lodged in the uncharted confines of my memory, but instead remain as a vivid reminder of the heaven that was.

Salamat. Paalam.

Marejada

Last night,


I swear I could almost hear you cry
like thunder in the evening sky



while buses roam the busy streets of Manila
and barkers flood, with their harsh voices, the filthy nooks of Quiricada.

We slept. We drank.
We cried for deliverance as we drown ourselves with bitter wines.



Between one heartbeat and another, we fell in love.
Deeply in love.



And now,
as we go around doing our daily routines


we silently wish to share once more the bitter sweetness of bodies joined,
armpits sweating
and old, forgotten feelings.


11 May 2009
Pasig City
***

Of rains, emotions, and expectations

When it rains, so many memories come flooding my being--like an entire sea of emotions flowing gently into a bigger world that is the ocean, or, like bodies plunging helplessly into a bottomless abyss. Just moments before, this very same process happened within me. Beyond me, even.

Last night was, as it was before, a cacophony of emotions both bitter and sweet, both shallow and profound. She did not answer my questions with words that are needed and necessary. Instead, she just gave me that stare, that unaffected air. I was shattered. Broken. Hurt.

I asked her repeatedly where we are, where we’re headed. The answer was nothing but silence. Her decision not to delve on the issues concerning us tore me apart. I asked myself; “was I getting too serious?” Perhaps. I really don’t know.

This morning, as we shared breakfast, I tried once more to bring the matter up. The result was, half-expectantly, the same.

Right now, I’m silently wondering where all of these will eventually lead. I love her. But, I do not know if the feeling’s mutual, or, if there will ever be reciprocity in the end. I guess it’s that what it is. A boxful of anxieties and uncertainties.

Whether everything will turn out as I am expecting, only Him knows. Right now, all I can do is pray for my feelings for her and wish that one day, when I wake up, the love that I have will have an equal amount of love from that one person with eyes that speak of emotions both enchanting and sweet.

I rest my case to God.

(Images taken from: http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://radio.weblogs.com/0128644/images/141103_waiting4tide.jpg&imgrefurl=http://radio.weblogs.com/0128644/2003/11/index.html&usg=__FkeFW_Wwq6xplebs4f_R0Ndljr0=&h=480&w=640&sz=40&hl=en&start=31&tbnid=MTenAgnFsH8ujM:&tbnh=103&tbnw=137&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dwaiting%26gbv%3D2%26ndsp%3D18%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN%26start%3D18)

Beginning

They say, when a story closes, a new chapter begins.

It's true, I guess.

Yesterday, a part of my already colorful life story has finally came to an end. And then, just moments after, a new chapter came to light. Although things are still blurred up to this point, I am looking forward to seeing the dawning of a new day, the beginning of another wonderful tale. Everything depends on that one word, on that one person.

Until then, I'm just waiting for yet another reason to weave words about love, relationships, and fresh beginnings.

This is me. Now signing off.


*To J. Because there is always something good about looking at the lights of Manila.